Goodnight and Good Truck

Another used condom spotted on my block today. That's a total of two. Back home I wouldn't walk barefoot because I was afraid of stepping on a rock or a piece of glass. Out here it's because I don't want my toes to get crabs..
Speaking of getting f#%ked, the insurance company from the guy who hit me finally decided my parked car wasn't at fault and got me a rental. It's a gigantic, gas guzzling S.U.V., and in environmentally conscious LA, I might as well have a bald eagle stuck in the grill. I pulled up next to a Prius and the driver gave me a dirty look. I wanted to roll down the window and go "I'm not an asshole, it's a rental!"
The car is nicer than my apartment.
The driver seat feels like a heated La-Z-Boy.. which is the dumbest thing to me. Nobody needs to be that comfortable behind the wheel of an automobile. My first car was a '78 Cougar that was about as comfortable as taking a road trip on Michael J Fox's back and yet I STILL had trouble staying awake on the highway. I'm going to hang one of those dream catchers from the rear view mirror so it can catch my bad dreams as I'm driving into a ditch.

Love and Other Thugs

I literally just stepped on a used condom getting out of the car on my street. Which is half disturbing and half puzzling considering I live in an all Hispanic neighborhood. The worst part was that I complained to my roommate about it and his very casual reply was "Yeah, sometimes hookers take their John's down our street for privacy." I really hope that is the case because if not, the only evidence to a sexual assault now has my foot print on it. The fact that I was angry about someone discarding a used condom in the middle of the street is somewhat amusing in retrospect. Obviously the type of person that's going to pick up a hooker then take her down a dark street and have sex with her could care less about getting a ticket for littering. I just figured since this was LA he'd be more conscious of the environment and recycle. Or at the very least go green and stop using plastic.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a pair of Nike's to incinerate.