Foster the Podcast Episode 12: From Russia With Love

Comedian Lance Paullin breaks numerous laws on his date with an illegal Russian immigrant.

Listen and go subscribe on iTunes.

Also visit the show page at fosterthepodcast.com

Foster the Podcast Episode 11: Why So Serious?

Comedian Andrew Berkovich tells Justin and Kristie about pulling the greatest prank of all time on his girlfriend that lands him in police custody.

Listen and go subscribe on iTunes.

Also visit the show page at fosterthepodcast.com

Foster the Podcast Episode 10: "Respect the Woods"

Foster the Podcast Episode 10: Respect the Woods

We talk house parties with comedian Nick Guerra who punches a Navy Seal, Justin parties with his Dad, and Kristie steals a snake.

Listen and go subscribe on iTunes.

Also visit the show page at fosterthepodcast.com

Midwest Tour 2013

Weds: The Cat's Den: University of Kentucky - 8pm
University of Kentucky - 410 Administration Dr. (Lexington, KY)

Thursday: Morty's Comedy Joint w/ Michael Malone - 9pm
3625 E. 96th St. (Indianapolis, IN)

Fri and Sat: Morty's Comedy Joint w/ Jeff Garlin (Curb Your Enthusiasm) and Michael Malone
8pm and 10pm
3625 E. 96th St. (Indianapolis, IN)

Sunday: The Sinking Ship - Headlining - 9pm
4923 N. College Ave. (Indianapolis, IN)

Episode Two: "Tres Leches Cake"

"Boston" John Oleary tells us about his favorite dessert and the importance of sharing.

Link: Tres Leches Cake

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House of Blues!!

I'll be performing at the House of Blues in San Diego, THIS Wednesday with the hilarious Michael Malone! Tickets on sale here. 

FOSTER the Podcast Ep. 1 "Vegas Vinnie"

Intro mini episode from Las Vegas. Captured audio where we meet "Vegas Vinnie", a Vegas cab driver, who tells us how he spent Valentine's Day

Link: Vegas Vinnie

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15 Seconds of Fame

I can finally cross "be an extra in a major movie" off my bucket list. I just spent 13 hours on a huge Hollywood set standing a few feet from Paul Giamanti, Emma Thompson, and Tom Hanks. The best part of the day was that I showed up early and wasn't sure where to go. I saw hundreds of trailers and walked up to the only one that had people around it. As I was walking up, the door flew open and out walked Tom Hanks. I was literaly seconds away from barging into Mr. Gump's trailer, which I think after I had been beat up by security would have been hilarious!
So that was my Friday. Look for the movie Saving Mr. Banks next Christmas. Hopefully you'll be able to see me! I'm a reporter on the red carpet sandwiched between Hanks and Snow White. Now where's my deli tray?!

Part of a Complete Day

I feel so complete! This morning at the coffee shop a guy came in wearing pajama's, cussing and knocking plates off tables. The cooks came out of the back and wrestled him to the ground and threw him out. Just now at the bar, some drunk dude was tackled by security and thrown out on the street. My day has come full circle! It started AND ended with random crazy people being put into arm bars and thrown out of public establishments.

Don't panic

I use to freak out and stress over little "bumps" in the road of life. Once I gave up the need to control the curve balls life throws at me I was suddenly able to see that things are never really "good" or "bad". They just are. That doesn't mean the irritating stuff no longer happens, it just means I no longer stress about it. I now know it'll all balance out, often sooner than later. Case in point today I drove all the way from LA to San Diego only to find out the weekend shows were still on but the Thursday show was cancelled. Irritating, yes, but after a few phone calls, they moved me to a spot at the Comedy Store down here. A place I'd been trying to get into for months. Then, as I was leaving the Starbucks here, my car wouldn't start! And I knew it wasn't the battery. I started to get real concerned but again, remained calm. I looked to my right and LITERALLY next door was a Honda Dealer. Not only did they fix my car for free but the service guy is a comic here in San Diego and has a lot of good contacts. So that is my free advice for today. Stay calm and if comedy doesn't work out, I know I could have a future selling parts for Honda.

When life hands you lemons

True Story:
I was at a bar and this girl walked up to me and started a conversation. She was nice but half way thru she stopped in the middle of what she was saying and smelt her armpit. "Oh my God, I stink" she said, and then I swear to Christ she reached over the bar and grabbed a lemon from the fruit tray and rubbed it on her arm pits like deodorant!!

Keep it classy ladies

That awkward moment..

New California Shows

Ch..Ch..Check it out

10/11-10/12: The Comedy Palace
(San Diego) W/ Jade Catta-Preta
10/14: Bar Lubitsch (Hollywood)*
10/16: Laugh Factory (Hollywood)
10/20: House of Brews (S. Fernando)*
10/31: Improv Comedy Club (Irvine)
11/14: Jon Lovitz Club (Universal City)

* Free Show / Headlining

Shark Attack

I recently read an article about how shark attacks were "on the rise by 25%!" I did some research and a whopping 17 people died in 2011 from shark attacks. Conversely, 100 million sharks are killed every year by humans. I think it's pretty safe to say we are winning the war on sharks. I hate when the news gets in a frenzy about how terrible shark attack attacks are! 100 million to 17! That's not an attack.. that's self defense! If you think about it, humans are the Adolph Hitler's to the shark species. I can just see the war room under the sea, "Guys, we're getting killed out there! We lost 20 million soldiers last month. Why are the humans attacking us? Do they think we are a threat?
"No Captain, they want to make soup!"

Summer Tour 2012

-Summer Tour 2012-

I'll be heading south this summer for a string of Texas dates. More to be announced soon.

Tickets for my headlining birthday show July 19th at the Addison Improv are on sale NOW.

They are only $7 dollars for a limited time. Head over to the website to purchase tickets.

yup...

Back to Cali

Just got back to California from Texas. I had an amazing week and it was so wonderful to see my friends and family again. The shows were incredible and I feel truly lucky to have so many great people in my life. I was gonna blog about the week but it's still a little foggy. If I didn't get to see you, I'll be back for shows in July!

In the meantime I'm filming a short film this weekend and the director has already called me crying twice. This should be interesting..

Escape From LA

Justin Foster, Raj Sharma, and Tone Bell, 3 Texas transplants now living in California will be coming home for a triple bill this Saturday at 7pm. It all worked out that we will be in town that night and are very excited about doing a show at our home club. Tickets are available now at improv.com or by calling the box office at 972-404-8501. Please come out and support the show so we can make you laugh (and hopefully make enough to afford the twelve dollar drinks out here for awhile longer.)
Tickets available here

Gee Whiz

I was parked on a street yesterday in the middle of the afternoon waiting to pick a friend up when a big escalade pulled behind me. There was a huge black dude in a suit and tie behind the wheel smoking a black and mild. He's just staring at me for about five minutes then he gets out of his car and starts walking my way. I'm a little concerned at this point but he stops behind my car and in front of his and then, just like that, he starts pissing. I'm like "there is no way this dude is just pissing right now" and I look in my rear view and sure enough he's letting it go all over the street, never breaking eye contact with me. After what seems like an hour he gets back in his car and drives away. For a split second when he got out I thought I was about to get robbed, so I guess I was a little relieved that all he did was creepily stare at me while urinating on my car, which is something I thought I would never say.

"It's Never Enough"

Eavesdropping on other people's conversations in public is a favorite past time of mine. For the longest time the two types of people to listen in on were 1. Couples on a first date 2. Dudes talking about women (getting women, how the bar has a lack of women, what they did with this woman, what they would do with that one, etc.) However, now living in Hollywood, I'd like to submit a third category: 3. DRUNK DUDES TALKING TO CELEBERTIES

Now, I've never once considered myself a “celebrity”, however on a small scale, I'm in front of the general public entertaining them, which in return brings some people the desire to chat with me after a show. Normally I love it, however there are those times when a guy has had too much to drink and can just get on my nerves. It's usually the dude who saw you on stage and now fancies himself a comedian.

“Hey man, you're really funny.”

“Hey man, you're really unfunny.”

“Hey man, I got a joke you can use.”

“Hey man, you're a comic, say something to make me laugh.”

“Hey man, wanna hang out after the show?”

“Hey man, people tell me I'm funny, I think I could do what you do”

“Hey man, how come to don't talk about blah blah blah.”

Now that is annoying but on the absolute smallest level of the entertainment industry. With that being said, I couldn't possibly imagine what it would be like to be a MAJOR star that gets recognized everywhere he goes.

That brings me to the subject of eavesdropping.

Last night I was at a bar in Hollywood having some drinks with friends when I notice directly behind me is Jeremy Renner having a conversation with two guys that could best be described as “retarded drunk.” So naturally I turn a bit to the left and I'm hearing what has got to be the most uncomfortable exchange one could have when trying to just have a drink and be left alone.

What I gathered is that the 2 guys were in a band (of course) and that they were “big fans” of Renner (because they kept repeating it, over and over.)

Then they start in with “I think it's great you're in the new Avengers movie. It's going to launch your career like crazy.”

To which Renner very politely replies with: “yeah, ha, let's hope so.”

Drunk guys : “you are always starring with famous actors but you need to be a lead. You could definitely be the lead in a movie...”

Now this is hilarious to me and I start laughing. All I hear in my head is these 2 drunk dudes telling one of the most respected actors out right now to “hang in their kid, you're gonna make it one day.”

Renner replies with “Yeah, uh, I'm the lead in the new Bourne Movie..”

Drunk dudes “Oh, really? They are still making those? Is Matt Damon not gonna be in it?”

Renner: “Dude, I've been doing this for 20 years.”

Drunk dudes: “But you need to be like Hollywood Huge”

Renner: “I have a 30 ft. billboard across the street where I'm standing next to Robert Downey Jr, and Samuel L Jackson, I was nominated for 2 Academy Awards. What more do you want from me?!”

And this goes on and on for about 15 minutes. It just goes to show you the mentality of some people. Here you have an actor that makes millions of dollars, was in a movie that won best picture, and has incredible success and yet he's getting career advice from two dudes drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon.

I would never eat a meal prepared by Gordon Ramsay and then tell him the duck needs more salt.